The Oscars were Sunday night and I couldn't have cared less about them this year. I don't always watch the show, but I usually check in to see which actress is most likely to flash a boob, see how many women are taller than Ryan Seacrest, and see who is wearing the dress that looks like I sewed it myself. This year, I forgot. I don't even remember what I was doing instead. But I wasn't really interested this year anyways. It probably has to do with the 2 fun extinguishers I had 4 years ago, that prevent me from having movie date nights like I used to have. I didn't really know anything about this years nominations. The Artist? Black and white, no talking? I'm all set. Bridesmaids? Explosive diarrhea in the middle of the street? Sign me up. Why wasn't that up for Best Picture?
So in honor of the Academy Awards, I would like to give you my list of winners this year. Come see who my winners are.