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I'm HOT, You're NOT! Become a MILF in 5 Easy Steps

Well Hello my Dear!  Back for more controversy?  Of course you are and I’ve got a fresh pot ready to fill your cup...
 
Today’s blend is 100% pure MILF.  You do know what a MILF is, right?  Let me give you a brief description just in case...  A MILF is the Mommy that all the teen boys go ga ga over.  A MILF is the Mommy that other Mommys’ husbands sneak a peek to look at.  A MILF is a Mommy that most Mommys can’t stand but secretly wishes to be like her.  MILF stands for Mommys I’d Like to Fuuu... oh you get my point!  So today, for those of you who need that bit of added spark in your ordinary routine, I’m going to help you become more like me!  Ooooh, how fun, I LOVE helping out my Mommy Pals!  Let’s get started...
 
  1. Show some skin.  Yes my Darling, you read it right.  You are not Mary Mother of God, for goodness sakes have some fun!  Wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve T with a hoodie, no matter how colorful and coordinated it is, has NO sex appeal.  None... Nada!  And those leggings with a big shirt, are never, NEVER in style.  It makes one look like cotton candy, you know, floaty, big on top, and a skinny holder at the bottom.  Not a flattering look and NO it does not cover what you are trying to hide.  Put on something fitted every so often, maybe a v neck with a favorite necklace.   Be beautiful and be the sensual woman that you are and wear something flattering.   
  2. Put on some lipstick.  “But Caffe, it takes too much time!”  I am not going to let you off the hook on this one.  A little bit of sheer color added to those wonderfully, kissable lips can go a long way and it takes 30 seconds to apply.  While you’re at it, add a stroke of a neutral color across your big, flirty, eyelids and top it off with a quick coat of mascara.  Done.  All in 5 minutes.  Now go experiment and bat your pretty little eyes at the mailman or the grocery store clerk and see if you don’t get a smile from them.
  3. Put on something fragrant.  I’m not suggesting that you spray an entire bottle of Coco Chanel to take your kids to the park, but I am encouraging you to smell pretty.  It may be a wonderful smelling lotion, or a light perfume that reminds you of a hot night with the one you love.  Hot, hmmm... heat or sexy?, your choice!  The power of  scent is as old as the “oldest profession” known to mankind.  Well that’s an interesting thought! 
  4. Colorful panties.  Again, stop staring at the words like you don’t know what I’m saying and close your mouth.  Come on girlz, it’s just soooooo much fun to wear sexy little undies that only YOU know about!  Maybe share a peek with those who might be interested in what color you have on today.  You don’t have to wear a thong if that’s not your thing... but DO wear something that makes you feel girly.  I don’t care if you’re 62 years old.  Have fun, be sexy, wear some fun leopard print and let your inner animal shine through!
  5. Attitude.  That’s right.  Another word for attitude, sex appeal.  Sexy is good!  A very close friend of mine says that to me all the time, and do you know what?  It's true.  Flirt, bat your eyelashes, put on sexy undergarments, and please remember, you’ve got one life to be who you want to be.  We’ve all heard it before, you are what you believe yourself to be, so believe that you are a MILF!
 
I believe that I need to go through my newest Victoria’s Secret catalogue.  They’re having a big sale and I always need a few more bright colors to add to my never ending collection.  So excuse me, I’ve got to go... if you need a refill, help yourself... OH?, it’s empty?  Well then off you go... Come back next time when I have a fresh pot of controversy ready to go and tell me all about the steps you’ve taken to be more like Moi.  Until next time, Ta Ta!  

For more humorous conversations please visit Caffeinated OC Mommy

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