Are you on Facebook?  Stop laughing, there are some people who aren't.  It's hard to believe, but there are some people out there, who don't want their "friends" knowing what they are doing every single minute of the day.  I know.  Crazy, right?  Well, this weekend was a busy weekend on Facebook, I saw a lot of crazy on there, and it got me thinking about this crazy social-media-filled world we live in.
Of course I'm on Facebook.  Have you met me?
I have my own page and I have my page for this blog, which, by the way, you should go "LIKE" right this second.  Just click here.  Go ahead, we'll wait. 
I like Facebook.  I love knowing what people are up to.  For the most part. 
I love seeing people's pictures.  For the most part. 
I love seeing everyone's kids.  I always like to see kids. 
I'm a nosey person just like youso of course I love Facebook.  I didn't join Facebook for a while though.  And when I did join, it was actually by accident.  My friend had sent me an email telling me to "CLICK HERE" to view her pictures and since I always do as I'm told, I did.  Then I had to provide my name and sign in and before I knew it, I had created a Facebook account.  Or had let someone steal my identity, I'm not sure which.  Nonetheless, I had a new Facebook account. 
I remember looking and looking for a decent picture of myself to use as my Profile Picture, before knowing full well, that if you have kids, you are supposed to use a picture of them doing something fun that shows how cute/well behaved/well dressed/full of love for you they are.  Silly me.  Here were some of the ones I was originally thinking of using....
Too red.
Too blue.
Too old, creepy, big lipped, cat-like.
Too boxy.
Just right.
Then I started adding "friends".  It was so fun reconnecting with old friends from High School and College that I hadn't heard from in a long time.  We would become "friends" again, and say that we just HAD to get together some time.  We'd "like" each other's status updates and that would be the end of those grand plans.  It's a shame, but we are all busy.  I mean, I can't just jump in my car with my kiddos and drive the hour to Rhode Island for Albie's Cheese Fries, can I?  The answer to that question, by the way, is YES.  They are that good. Right Rhody friends?  Does next weekend work for any of you?
Then I updated my profile and started experimenting with Status Updates.  I mean, I wanted to sound witty and funny, right?  Friends didn't want to read boring stuff, did they?  But it seemed that not everyone was as worried about what they posted on their status updates as I was.  I started seeing lots of updates like,
"At work".  Really?  Aren't we all?
"Doing laundry."  NO WAY?!?!?!?
"Monday again."  Yup.  Every 7 days.
None of this is witty or funny.  It's actually quite boring.  And I'm pretty sure no one cares that you're at work or doing laundry.  Mine were  no better.  I would always be wondering how cheerios got in my kids' diapers and why couldn't I get the smell of spit up out of my nose.  No one cared about what grossness I was smelling.  (And so began this little blog called My Twin*tastic Life.  The place where I wrote about all of my Mommy gripes, where people could care or not, come visit or stay away.  Although now my Status Updates are links to my fun blog posts, but again, click or don't.  It's up to you).  The point is, I stopped with all the stupid Status Updates.  Well... I at least stopped posting so many.
Then I started to go a little crazy with the kid pictures.  Yup.  I was one of them.  We all have those Facebook "friends". The ones who post 862 pictures of their kiddos every day. Now I just post pics here and there, and the obligatory holiday shots. I see a lot of people posting pictures of their drinks and meals. Now, I'm not a big drinker, but I'm pretty sure if I was, I still wouldn't swoon over a picture of a pink drink in a fancy glass. Maybe I'm wrong. The pink drink photo takers probably don't give a shit about my pics of my kids eating Popsicles either, so I guess it's all relative. Drink up friends!
There are the people who LOVE daring us to post something as our Status Update and leave it there for ONE HOUR.  They already know who will do it and who won't, but they want to see if they're right.  If  you know someone with autism, heartburn, cancer, PTSD, cat scratch fever, chronic back pain, hemorrhoids, hatred of Rosie O'Donnell you are supposed to "share this post". 
Now don't get me wrong, I am a full supporter of all of these things (I actually went to see the Rosie O'Donnell show when she was on, and she was a bitch!).  BUT.  Who am I helping by sharing this post?  Anyone who has any of those afflictions couldn't care less what MY status update on Facebook says.  And you triple dog daring me to post it, just makes me want to post it even less.  Which is really impossible, because the second I read, "I know most of you won't do it, but....." I read on to the next post, which is usually something about the Red Sox sucking ass.  This being said, I do re-post stuff, especially when there are cute kids or animals involved.  Or Military causes.  I know, I know.....
Then there are the people who have huge blowout fights on Facebook.  These I am instantly addicted to, so please keep those coming.  Especially the ones with F bombs scattered throughout.  I feel like this shows just how NOT friends we are with most of our Facebook friends.  Right?  I mean, if I am going to have a fight with a true friend, we are going to do it in person. 
Or maybe on the phone, we really don't live that close. 
Well, maybe email because we're probably both really busy. 
And really, texting is just so much easier.  And quicker too.
But never on Facebook.
If you are having a blowout with someone on Facebook (or repeated blowouts, which is even better!), why the hell are you "friends" on Facebook anyways? 
Anyone? 
Anyone?
Don't get me wrong, I am a full out Facebook fan.  I am also guilty of pretty much everything I just talked about, which is why it's OK for me to throw stones.  My house is most definitely made of glass ... transparent, fragile, streaky, little fingerprinted glass.  And don't be mad if you realize you are one of those folks I'm talking about, I still look through all of your pictures (liking most of them), read your status updates (and comment on them), and nod in agreement with most of what you write.  That's what Facebook is all about, the connections, the shared experiences, the life lines..... It's fantastic!
What about you guys, why are you loving Facebook?  What drives you crazy?  Is it the bloggers, endlessly and shamelessly posting links to their blogs, begging you to visit, vote, comment?  They are so annoying, aren't they?   Will you please click on that pretty blinking box below? Just one vote, I'm up to number 24 out of 4500!  You guys rock!

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Tags: Facebook, blog, funny, humor, twins

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