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When did I become that parent?
Before I had kids, I would SOOOO judge other parents.
I know, it's completely shocking, right?
I mean, I'm not at all judgmental, am I?  (And don't think you have me fooled, I am sure some of you just said, "yah, and a bitch".  We know each other so well, don't we?)
I'd see the screaming kids in the store and be like, "OK, nowis when you leave your cart in the aisle and take your kid out to the car so they know that behavior isn't tolerated."

I'd listen to people talk about how they got their 6 year old an iPad and think, "An iPad?  I don't even have an iPad, why does a 6 year old need an iPad?"

I'd hear Moms talking about having their kids birthday party at a bouncy place, a make-your-own-pottery place, a laser tag place, a paintball place, a nail salon, a museum, a botox place, a shotgun range ....wherever....and think about how when I had kids, I wouldn't spend all that money to have an impersonal party.  I'll have it at home, and put time and effort into it, just like my Mom did.  I mean, I love throwing a party.

Courtesy of FoxNewsInsider.com

And don't get me wrong, I was fully aware of how judgey I was.  I would tell myself that when I did have kids, I was going to have to be a pretty freakin' perfect parent for all the shit I talk.

And then, surprise!  I'm having twins!
Good God ... there it is.
Always showing up, putting me in my place.
Think picking up a few things at Target is easy with kids, bitch?  KA-BLAMMO!  Try it with twins!

I accepted the challenge (and shopped around nap and hunger times and got a sitter when needed so as to avoid the public Target meltdowns.  I was mostly successful).
But I was talking with a couple of women at soccer yesterday, and one was talking about how her 10 year old wanted a cell phone. She was saying how she would never buy her daughter a cell phone at the age of 10.  I can understand that.  I don't think I will be buying the boys cell phones at that age.
Then she went on to talk about how she is not and will not be one of those parents that buys her kids iPods or iPads or iPhones.  There is no need for kids to have such luxuries, and she'll be damned if her kids will have one.
So remember how I was crying over my boys being big boys now, turning 5 not needing me anymore saying how my kiddos just had a birthday party?  Well....with the birthday money they received from very generous family, we decided to buy them iPod touches.
I can hear you, you know.
I mean, I'm standing right here.
I know, I know.  But like all of your kids I bet, they just love using our phones so much.  And they love using my Mom's iPad.  And they are always fighting over who is going to use mine first and for how long and this one didn't get a turn, and can I please help them play this game, and they don't care that it's Words With Friends and they can't spell yet, they want to play THIIIIIIIIIIS game and then it rings and it's Auntie B and Nooooooooo Mom, don't answer it, I JUST got my turn, Noooooooooooooooooooo ...... sorry .... did I just black out ..... where was I .....
See, I have PTSD from all the controversy over playing on my phone.
One might say I took the easy way out,
Perhaps (how do you like that, Betsy?)
But here was my thinking.
The boys have Leap Pads, which are fab, but the cheapest games are $7 (times 2).  And yes, I can put my foot down and only buy one, but you try that with your twins and let me know how that goes.  And the Leap Pads are bigger and bulkier and I'm already sick of carrying all of their cars and tools and rocks and "treasures" in my pocketbook all the time, I don't need their Leap Pads in there too.
The iPods are small, and apps are either free or very close to free.  They also love to listen to their music on them.
They don't fight over them.
They don't ask for mine anymore. (well, that's a lie, but it's not as often.)
My PTSD symptoms are subsiding.

I guess I could have explored other options like this first.... Hmph.

They are perfect for long car rides, long shopping trips and as a tool to quiet them down (worked wonders when I had to renew my license and was at the DMV for 2 hours).
We said we would limit their time on them, which we will when it becomes an issue.  But as of now, they really don't want to use them 24/7.  And they still love their Leap Pads.
So go ahead.  Your turn to judge.  I'm that Mom.
And did I mention that their 5th Birthday Party was at a Children's Museum?  Yup.
I still love to have me a party, and will probably do so next year when my yard is put back together, but  you guys were right!  What a great way to have a kid party!  It ends up being cheaper, you're in and out in 2 hours and there's nothing to clean up.  Brilliant!
So here it is.
My formal apology to all the Mom's I've ever judged out there (well, for the above mentioned things at least).

OMG, he looks like my little dullard.

I am sorry for my bitchy judgey attitude.  You were all onto something.  You all had it figured out (although I still don't think a kids birthday party at a gun range is a good idea) and I'm the dummy.
You just wait.  Next years birthday party will be an iPod theme.  I'm planning to sit all the kids around a table in front of some sort of Apple device for 2 hours, feed them sugary cake, send them home with goodie bags filled with candy and call it a day.  See you then!
Just a joke, come on!
Would you mind giving me a click?  One click a day is one vote a day, and I could really use it.  I'm at #80, which is a definitely improvement over the #425 I was at. But remember the good old days, when I used to be #27 overall?  And #6 in the Freakin' Hilarious category?  Sigh.....
Thanks, you're the best!!!

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