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OK.  Where to start.  I have to admit, my mind is sort of spinning right now. 
My friend Stephanie dared challenged asked me to write about "reborns". She told me to research it, that I would enjoy it.  Ah, she knows me so well.

So I did some research today. 


It is a whole other kind of freak fest that I didn't really know existed.

Basically, women (I think hope it's mostly women) make and/or collect these super life-like baby dolls.

Lots of people collect dolls, you might say.

Yes, this is true, but I'm pretty sure most "normal" doll collectors keep them at home.  I mean, Candy Spelling had a huge doll collection but she had them in cases and on display. 

These women walk around with them in strollers and bring them to the supermarket in infant carriers.  Here, watch this clip from Anderson Cooper's show (I didn't even realize he had a Springer-esque show) called simply...... "Anderson".  (I also didn't realize the level of his creativity)


You see why my mind is spinning?  Well, yes, part of it is looking at that handsome Anderson and his perfect sterling hair.

But beyond that, did you hear Marilyn talking?  Did you hear her say she doesn't take these "babies" out for the shock value?


I feel like she would be LESS crazy if she was taking them out for the shock value!  Please shock me!  Please don't take them out for a walk for any other reason BUT to shock me!!

Oh but wait.  Handsome Anderson has one more clip to horrify show us. 

Meet Lynn. 

She has (surprise! surprise!) been featured on TLC's My Crazy Obsession.  Watch this....

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE, how this clip ends.  With her sincere wonderment of why they don't allow her creepy ass near the maternity ward anymore.  I'm pretty sure I recall hearing something about "Lynn" when we asked about all the security in the NICU when the boys were born.  Just kidding, but am I ever thankful the security is in place! 

And did you get a look at that room FILLED with babies on top of babies?  Imagine being a guest in her house, and walking into that room, thinking it was the bathroom?  Good god!  And of course the Anderson show just had to make the video freeze on the part with the dismembered baby on a cookie sheet.  The camera crew filming this lady were just DYING when she pulled a baby out of the oven!  Talk about jackpot footage!  I was laughing so loud, the boys came up to see what I was laughing at.  I shut the laptop though.  I just felt it was my duty as a mother to shield them from a freak baking a baby. 

And you said I was a bad Mom.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I get that there are people who like to collect things.  I used to collect stickers.  I was in elementary school, but whatever.

I have a best friend who used to collect Beanie Babies, convinced they going to be worth as much as Hummels.  I think she still has them.  She's waiting for that big pay day I think. 

Chris even got one of those maps that you use when you collect the new state quarters.  It's in the basement all warped, with the same 6 quarters he got with the map one Christmas.  (Which is good to remember, when I'm scrambling for coffee money.  Shhhh, don't tell!)

There are even those people who like to collect real babies, like the Duggar family, Octomom and Jon and Kate Gosselin. 

That's quite a collection.

But life-like dolls?  That's just creepy.  And I don't even think the "collecting" is the creepy part (well, it's part of it I guess).  What's creepy is that they are taking them out like they are real babies, letting strangers come up to ooooh and aaaah over them, knowing full well that they are dolls.

And really, at what point does Marilyn up there, tell people they're dolls?  Isn't it embarrassing enough when someone mistakes your infant daughter for a boy?  It's so awkward for you and for the poor person who made the mistake?  Imagine this scenario??? 

"OH MY GOD, just look at how precious your baby girl is!" 

"Ehhh, yah, it's a boy.  Awkward."

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, how embarrassing!"

"Wow, you think that's embarrassing!  He's actually a doll.  Yah, I like to take my boy-that-looks-like-a-girl doll out for walks in a human baby stroller.  But NOT for the shock factor!  No, no, no.  It's because I just really like pushing around a life-like doll in public, which is totally normal"

Yah, this isn't normal people. 

Not even a little bit. 

And here is the cherry-on-top.  Marilyn talks about the attempted abduction of her "baby".   But first, check out this guy's face, as they pass the baby around the audience.  Priceless!

Marilyn honey, it's not an abduction.  Actual humans are "abducted".  Yours is a theft.  Your baby isn't real.  I didn't have the heart or stomach to watch how they make these babies, but I'm pretty sure your "baby" is made of some sort of plastic, rubber, or silicone.  Good god, let's hope it's not made of some sort of human skin or some weird shit like that.  Anywho, your "baby" wasn't "abducted".  Your DOLL was STOLEN.

So what do you think of these "Reborners"?  I mean, just the name "reborners" makes me think of some sort of horror film, right? 

Actual movie. I knew it.

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