After pissing everyone in my family off and my failed attempt to help someone who really needed it. I gave up. It was too much, I didn't care anymore and checked myself into the hospital for the first time. I made sure I didn't tell anyone where I was, and I made sure to tell the hospital not to let anyone know as well. I wanted everyone to worry. I wanted them to suffer because I was. I needed to run away from everyone in my life.

              I spent the whole…

                                                           http://bipolarlifeblogger.blogspot.com/

I have been under so much stress these last few weeks. My husband and I both have been walking on egg shells around each other. There has been so much tension. 

I finally snapped. I don't know how I didn't sooner. I have been frantically cleaning the house. I spend all day…

 http://bipolarlifeblogger.blogspot.com/

So my latest "unofficial diagnosis" is, I say unofficial because it was a counselor that told me not my psychiatrist, Post traumatic stress disorder. Seriously? as if being bipolar and having panic attacks and severe anxiety problems including social anxiety disorder wasn't enough someone had to…

 http://bipolarlifeblogger.blogspot.com/

It has been really difficult for me to be "in love" I looked for any little problem as a sign that I'm not really in love. I told so many lies, to everyone including my self, just to make it believable. I didn't want to be in love. 

Being vulnerable, letting someone have that much control over me seemed like some sort of…